Behind Enemy Lines:Take On Dodgers-Giants Series



Arriving at AT&T Park Sunday night, alone, surrounded by the Orange & Black. I will attempt to learn their ways and bring about a victory for My Bums In Blue.

As I sit in my lair here on the corner of 3rd and Channel I can still detect the smell of soggy garlic fries in the chill morning air. The echo of the Giants Fan’s giddy chortles and “Beat L.A.” mantra wafts past my window as I gaze forlornly at The Bay. Although my heart is broken, I still have some things to say to the Orange & Black Scourge that are my


Trayce Thompson makes some Little Dodger Rail Birds happy with a few autographs before the game.

(obnoxious) neighbors. Mainly, my message is; not so fast you Posey Poseurs! You may have gotten the two of three and, sure, we leave McCovey Cove five games back, but you should keep in mind:

  • All three games were decided by one run. Nobody “dominated” anybody.
  • Neither team is displaying any offense but the Dodgers came into AT&T with only two players hitting over .250 so far in June (Seager and Trayce Thompson). As evidence of the depths of our current batting woes, Jake Peavy, yes, THAT Jake Peavy, the one with the ERA bigger than Lasorda’s waist size, actually shut Dem Bums out for six innings. If that’s not proof of a major slump I can’t imagine what is.
  • The game the Jints “stole,” game two of the series, was a fluke. It counts in the standings but that was LUCK, pure and simple. A-Gone goes yard in extra innings and that should have been that. But, no, the Giants benefit from the very rare Kenley Jansen blown save. It just doesn’t happen very often and the fact that it did happen Saturday night is just a testament to the Baseball Gods continued willingness to shine their warm light on the Bochy’s Boys sorry butts. Things like that have a way of evening out over the course of a season. You’ll get yours, you cretinous lot of Halloween colored rabble!
  • The separation of the two teams in the standings is pretty much thanks to the win-streak the Giants put together those two weeks they played the Padres every day.

    A.J. gets ready.

    That 13 of 15 stretch has been bookended by very mediocre play. You know at some point this season the Dodgers will ride a similar streak or two and you’ll be right back to gearing up for that all important series against the Rockies. I mean, I haven’t checked the schedule but the Giants can’t possibly have any more games against the Padres, can they?

  • We can beat Johnny Cueto. We can beat Jeff Smegma Jar. We have beaten MadBum. The fact we make Jake Peavy look like a major league pitcher is one of those random ripples in the

    Our 19-year-old prodigy, Julio Urias, gets ready to face the hated Giants under the watchful eye of pitching coach, Rick Honeycutt.

    fabric of the cosmos that cannot be rationally explained. You Jints, on the other hand, will not beat Clayton Kershaw. Never again. I promise.

  • The rest of the division should fear Julio Urias. In Sunday’s game three of the series he was masterful. Personally, I was surprised to see the kid take the mound in the 6th when his pitch count was over 80. A base hit and a home run should not have cost him a win when his team is up against Peavy and the Giants’ unspectacular bullpen. Julio can now join the ranks of the Dodgers Official Starters Who Pitch Without Run Support. What should worry the Giants is the lefty is getting better with every major league inning he pitches. He has wicked stuff and just needs to learn to use it. He is, after all, only 19. He’ll look even better if Ryu an

    Corey bats with Chase on base in first inning.

    d McCarthy get back next month as they’re on track to do.

Well, this marks the last time I’ll see the Dodgers in my backyard until the end of September. Hopefully, I’ll get to celebrate in the stands at AT&T once again. If not, well, my open dislike for the Giants and their fans will only grow more steadfast in the face of adversity. Go Blue!!!


In what I consider a form of elder abuse, the Giants’ policy of putting geezers on the field as “Ball Dudes” instead of maybe some attractive young women in shorts or even some local high school ball players, continues. This poor guy had his dentures knocked out by a line drive foul in the fourth inning. It was a horrible thing to witness. Shame on the Giants!



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